The Climb

round upI find myself in a place I haven’t visited in a while. A place filled with uncertainty , insecurity and a dash of anxiety. It’s been a few years since I’ve been surrounded by all these emotional reactions at once but if I can recall the last time it ushered in one of the most evolutionary phases of my “young” life. So fingers crossed that this will be something similar.

Being comfortable with uncertainty is not a skill I yet possess but it is one that I work constantly towards attaining . I am a planner , an organizer , a mostly reformed control freak but my my my old habits die hard.  I constantly tell myself to go with the flow , that things will fall into place , that it will work out but my anxiety ridden mind is not content with that. It wants more. It wants stability , surety , plans , timelines and milestones. It wants me to stay awake planning and running scenarios through my head.  Sadly this method instead of solving my problems causes more.

One of my favourite words is Balance and it is also something I strive towards attaining. I found the perfect expression of that balance as I was going through my morning routine,  “Living with no regrets means living in an ongoing state of balance between work and play, rest and activity, focus and spontaneity. It is when you get too far out of balance that stress and disease begin to arrive.” Simple yet profound.

I think that is the struggle most of us face , not just veering too far left or too far right but constantly comparing ourselves without realizing that we all have our own levels of balance.

Ex. 1. We think we are not working as hard as our coworker A , she works 10 hour days as opposed to our 8. Not knowing that she also takes 3 week vacations whereas we never take more than 3 days. She has found her balance , why do we compare her life to ours.

Ex.2 We think we work far harder than coworker B who goes out all weekend and seems rather carefree and irresponsible. Not knowing that coworker B works elsewhere for a few hours at night and weekends are his only free time. He has created his balance and it works for him.

Each of those persons has created a balance for their life and it would not work for anyone else because it is such a personal experience. Creating balance is about being true to yourself and with the things that bring you joy as well as the things you simply must do.

So as I continue to think , plan and plot my next moves I leave you with :

“The great Way is easy,
yet people prefer the side paths.
Be aware when things are out of balance.”
— Lao Tzu (Tao Te Ching)

Love and Light,
Rushell

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